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CDC’s lab monkeys gave woman rabies & pinkeye

Michelle Fallon havin’ monkey trouble/WNEP

Woman contracts monkey disease. 

Blog King, Mass Appeal

DANVILLE, Pa. — The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) tried to transport one hundred East African monkeys to Missouri for lab testing. But those little bastards escaped during a trailer crash on a Pennsylvania highway. Michelle Fallon, a middle-aged white woman, came in close contact with the research primates despite the fact they hissed at her. At first she thought they were kittens so she started petting ’em. “They had this green cloth over, I peel it back and stick my finger in there to try and pet it,” Michelle told reporters. “It pops its head up and I’m, like, ‘Oh, it’s a monkey.’” But, little did she know, the critters had more diseases than R. Kelly — à la the 1995 Dustin Hoffman film “Outbreak.” Poor Michelle contracted rabies, herpes and conjunctivitis. Now she’s experiencing cardiac problems.

“I thought, well, zoo monkeys. I didn’t know these were animal test monkeys,” Michelle bemoaned. “I thought they were ok, like they had their shots, they were good, they’ve been checked. I didn’t know they could have diseases or whatever.”

Moral of the story: When you see wild animals, leave ’em the f*ck alone.

Social media reaction was priceless. One viewer wrote, “You know this is how a zombie apocalypse starts.” A second viewer chimed in with, “Dr. Fauci may have a Monkey Fetish. Hope he wore a rubber.” A third viewer added, “Why the f*ck was she trying to pet a monkey running around on the street? ‘Zoo monkeys’… Genius.“

Now the million dollar question: Why are CDC officials testing African monkeys anyway?

Does it have something to do with COVID?

Watch the shocking report.

Share your thoughts.

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This Post Has 47 Comments

  2. People don’t use any sense. Try to pet something you don’t even know what it is.🤯

  8. Why were they moving 100 infected monkeys? Sounds fishy. What are the odds of that happening during a supposed pandemic.

  11. keep her the fuck away from everyone. if i get monkey-titis im losing my fucking shit

  12. So if she had something contagious… she just gave it to the reporter & everyone she came in contact with….What about the driver? Is he okay? Did he get pink eye too? Did the monkeys hiss at him too?
    Why didn’t he stop her from touching them?
    If he was in pain shouldn’t she had stayed w him vs going to pet the caged animals?
    Lots of monkeying around here….

  17. Is nobody going to mention the snot running out of that woman’s nose that she’s just letting be there rent free..?

  18. There need to be consequences for this. Who the hell thinks its a good idea to transport infected monkeys over populated areas?

  19. Same thing happened in the movie outbreak…real question is what are they doing with 100 monkeys? Definitely animal testing

  21. Every single person who has received the experimental vaccine is a test animal!!!

  23. Lady: “awe so cute, here kitty kitty”
    Monkey pops out: Gotcha Bitch!!

  24. This woman is an idiot sorry; why would you walk through poop and pet unknown animals and touch everything 🙄

  25. This is clearly a fake story and no human being is that dumb enough to stick their hands in a cage with an unknown creature inside that fell off a truck that was involved in a car accident on a highway. A toddler would know better. She is clearly a crisis actor and they are clearly trying to start the next plandemic. Welcome to Americaaa smh.

  26. Why are these animals being dragged down our highways? Why are we bringing them here in the first place?

  28. “I stick my finger in there to try and pet it.”

    Lmao. So she’s one of those idiots who climbs into the lion enclosure to pet the cute kitty.

  29. Who does that? Tries to pet an animal in a cage that just underwent a wreck on the highway. Seriously?

  31. You stuck your finger in a random hole and got herpes …yup your story checks out

  32. A monkey named Dr. Fauci has escaped and believes himself to be God…to whom al Linn others must obey.

  34. Just wow she sticks her fingers in a cage with animals she knows nothing about. The driver didnt know apparently either because he didn’t stop her…. this screams new movie “based on a true story”

  35. Same monkeys that were infected with fucking Ebola years ago. Here comes a virus….

  36. This is such bs, why would they be transporting highly contagious monkeys in a truck instead of on a plane? Probably gonna be the next “pandemic” just watch.

  37. Ridiculous! Yes there’s live animals in cages and the first thing she does is try to touch them! Why not call animal control or police asap, no instead sh trys to do her own search and rescue. Lady how can you possibly help? Unless she’s a veterinarian or an EMT it just makes no sense that she went to go help. Rational people see an accident and the 1st instinct is to call 911 not go investigate on your own.

  38. So the monkeys weren’t making a sound after the accident? I’m sure they didn’t sound anything like cats. She really had to touch everything to realize something wasn’t right? Perhaps even that their poop droppings were the average size of a cat’s head? Yeah, something is off about all of this!

  39. She is so ignorant!! Zoo monkeys, tesTING MONKEYS. SHE STUCK HER FINGER IN A CAGE WITH NO IDEA WHAT WAS IN IT OR BEING FAMILIAR WITH IT?!?! OBVIOUSLY SHE IS MENTALLY HANDICAP!!

  41. What i want to know is WHERE IN MISSOURI they were headed? I live in Southern Missouri and a tax player. Why are they bringing monkeys in from China and for what purpose?? EBOLA VIRUS anyone???

  42. Stop fucking risking our lives over these viruses that you want to create and taking a chance at wiping out humanity Makes no sense Trying to kill us they felt that covid would have been good but it didn’t work work they need something more potent or the odds that this fucking accident happened

  44. She did that on purpose. Hoping to get something and then sue . Only the dumbest people on earth try to pet monkeys after they escaped from a rolled over truck .

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